Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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