After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize