Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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