Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
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