you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Randomize
