I can tuck mytits in my pants
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
