I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Randomize
