At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Never underestimate the power of titties
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