it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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