Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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