How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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