i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
