i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
