I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
