no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
