When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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