Umm I'm too high to move.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
