Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize