My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
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