imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize