Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize