I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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