adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Pants are for mortals
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
