You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
