I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize