I'm going to jail i love you
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
porn star boner night. come get it.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
