Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
