would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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