A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize