why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Randomize
