I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
