That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Drake has all the answers
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
