what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
