Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
