just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
