I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
