why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
