Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Randomize
