Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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