I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
