return my video game
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
