Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
We are two peas in an std pod
We had to coat check the pizza.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
