Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
