I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.