Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
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He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
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You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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