My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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