Just mADE A PArabola og urine
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
