so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
