walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
