Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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