so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
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