if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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