Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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