trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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