so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
