My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Rumble strips road head = magical
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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