I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
