just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
