So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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